1. |
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oh, the city burns!
nero would be proud
my mouth fills up
a eulogy comes out
what a waste of breath!
spoke, but nothing else
my heart pours out
slow down
put your head in clouds
oh no! (i am alone)
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2. |
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oh sure, you can look for reasons
and try to be them, for a while
but you know you can't be her answer
she was never after truth
will your mother still blame youif she knew all the words that she said
drove you here?
a half a world away
destroying your body
to get back for every word she said
but it won't change the way she is
and it won't change a thing she did
so calm down
sleep now
forget all the things that she said
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3. |
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found out how scared you were
to ask how I knew everything
but not how I ever blamed you.
I know you were never aware,
So how could you say
"Sorry, how could I take and take
and never think of you?
I'm not sorry I don't care about you."
Found out how little I felt
When I stepped back and heard you say,"It's not my fault- I was raised this way."
And I'll be damned if I pity you
Like I used to do
When I still loved you.
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4. |
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your hands were broken
but you wouldn't cry out
as we tore your heart apart
should i thought of you with sadness?
(such small, small, price to pay)
but you should have known better
oh, i admit to no wrong!
you should have understood
i had no choice, no choice
all winter
you told me, "it's never enough to stay still"
i thought you'd be proud of me
should i spell it out, spell it out now?
you'll never be good enough
so i'm getting out, getting out
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5. |
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you were a secret kept
far from my heart
i know i should have wept
but no tears found their way out
you were an avalanche
a sharp decent with fast words, deliverance
(i will not be ashamed, i will move perfectly now)
and i, the minuet
kept time by sorrow spent
spoke soft, stood down
(step away, step away, i will hold in my place)
and i have been losing sleep
so i can't be trusted to know
every time you cry out
you say, "not enough, dear"
would i change pace-
move air through empty lungs?
oh, compose yourself
and know that all you'll be
is a secret left upon my lips for now
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6. |
Year of the Rabbit
04:49
|
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Don’t say goodnight. Is this your life, or are you holding on?
Dear it’s alright to say enough! To let your body break down.
And they will never know what broke your heart.
If only I could say how sorry I felt.
Don’t turn your head- it’s hard enough to know it’s all my fault.
Yes, I regret I laid myself out when your eyes cried, "please help me darling’.
Don’t say goodnight! It’s not enough to get me through this night.
Don’t say goodbye, it’s not alright to know you’re hurting and I cannot help you.
And they will never know what broke your heart. And all the words escape from out of my mouth.
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7. |
Idk, My Bff Jill
04:08
|
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Will I ever understand how anything gets done?
I tied a knot in my heart for you, thinking that’s what you wanted.
I tried to make my voice sincere
(tell everyone how hard it was!)
And anyway, I could never reach your ears,
like the weight of its wings were clipped when they hovered near you.
Should I tie your arms afloat to its melody,
and anchor my heart to you in hopes I’ll climb out your mouth?
I was so sure you wanted love, how could anyone find doubt?
I tied a knot in my heart for you, though it’s not what you wanted.
(Wear your heart out for me)
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8. |
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you had made plans for the colder months ahead
and braced yourself for disappointment
michigan winters have such a way of isolating breath from your body
but they were such strong traits that your father passed down to you
and when they wore you out, they won out
so how could i look at you?
you are what you feared you'd turn in to
but if you change your mind, i will forgive you
(and all will be undone)
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9. |
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fold your arms like an aeroplane
cast over seas you could not navigate
for fear of an entry point
dear, do not go quietly!
do not go, do not go at all!
(you are needed here)
you were strong
but your body wasn't
and even if i know
it'll still hurt to hear it from you
so when you go
your arms will not part the sea
or even support their own weight
but it is time
(and even i know!)
but it will still hurt like hell when you go
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10. |
Jacob's Song
03:13
|
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They were constants, at best
that kept you with him
The air returns to my chest,
fighting for breath
(like the love you let go,
and did not come back)
If it still remains,
You must force this line out,
"Be still my heart!"
And though it may never heal
It will hurt less in time
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11. |
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oh, you had littered your clothes across the floor where we last met.
like a trail of things we never said- but what have we ever said?
still, it was 1998, and we had plenty of time to reconcile.
but i was more concerned with what came next then i was of forgiving you.
but you had not forgiven me, and you would not allow your teenage heart time to mend or time away.
oh, what an ugly sight it was to see!
so you told them all about me-
and all the things i hadn’t done.
and the little white lies that birthed from your mouth turned into such an avalanche.
then, your voice became so small,
or everyone else’s grew large.
but it was far too late to pull the words back.
they were gone.
so no one will hear you scream,
“no one will love you like i do…”
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12. |
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nurse your wounds, you are no soldier
we are not men of faith.
so that, when we die, the only thing that touches you
will be the worms of earth, turning earth over earth.
i have not forgiven you
i don't think that i will.
will you ever know how hard it was to say,
"you are a lost cause, and i can't save you now."
i have not come to set things right.
i have come to say goodbye.
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13. |
Archival Footage
01:41
|
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we have been watching you for weeks, getting weaker
this time next month you'll be gone
how do you say goodbye?
how do you spend time waiting for...
i should be home with you
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14. |
Documenting Thirty Days
05:19
|
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15. |
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all the streets had emptied, spilling forth like a parade,
and you were eighteen and i was eighteen.
then, all of east lansing was littered with collegiate speak and irony
that slurred new beginnings with tired speech.
now, it serves as a constant reminder of how youth is wasted on youth.
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16. |
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a borrowed prayer died
before it hit your lips
your grandfather was the one who taught you it
(to speak in troubled times, to carry you to port)
now mechanical, it seems so meaningless
and what do i think?
death is death is death.
and no amount of prayer will change that
and anyway,
time is better spent on things you can change
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17. |
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i watched your cheeks flush, colored by an air from a calgary cold front
your breath made ghosts spill into the night, and gather as if they might not disappear.
i had heard a rumor you were moving back home!
but even if it was true, i did not expect to hear it from you so bluntly.
so it hung in the air like a fever, or a slow moving front
and i would not find shelter here, so i braced myself
"out!" i cried, "out!
are you running to or are you running from?
or does it even matter if it won't change your mind?"
when you put you hand on mine,
i knew.
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18. |
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At twenty years old,
A renaissance birthed by poetry and colligate confessions
Your baritone droned in 4/4 time
Painting verse after verse
Like a landscape or a wake
Remember when I recited Lowell from memory?
Our professor’s eyes temporarily swallowed by faulty cataracts
As I almost blatantly read “Water”
Word by word from the book
And although every last person in class knew,
Not a soul breathed a word to her
I think it was almost too absurd to mention out loud
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Empire! Empire! (I Was a Lonely Estate) Fenton, Michigan
Empire! Empire! (I Was a Lonely Estate) is a band from the tiny town of Fenton, Michigan that started in 2006. Keith plays guitar, bass, drums, trumpet, cello, etc and sings. Cathy plays guitar.
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